Politically Clipped

Posted: September 12, 2003

by H. L. RICHARDSON

Politically Clipped

The new head of state needs to know a lot up front or he
will lose his behind, and ours with it.

H. L. “Bill” Richardson served in the California Senate from 1966 until 1988.

Five veteran political writers and Party leaders consider, from a variety of perspectives, the question: How should Republicans approach the October 7 recall election? The authors are Rush Limbaugh, Assemblyman John Campbell, Senator H.L. Richardson, ret., William E. Simon, Jr., and Shawn Steel. Under the heading “Equal Time,” CPR reprints portions relevant to the recall of Senator Dianne Feinstein’s August 6 announcement that she would not run.

The barbershop was empty of customers. Three barbers were present, two leaning on their chairs and one slumped casually in his, with his right leg straddled over one arm. My sudden appearance had interrupted a lively political discussion. All three smiled and gave me a “pick me” look. I chose the one looking most alert, and before the paper collar and bib had circled my neck, the heated debate resumed.

The object of discussion? The Gray Davis recall. All three barbers were for it, venting their ire on Davis for the blackouts of the prior year, the proposed increase of vehicle taxes, and politicians in general. They were well aware of the $38 billion debt and didn’t like the prospect of higher taxes. However, none of them understood how the recall worked, or much about the potential candidates.

They all knew that Arnold Schwarzenegger would be a candidate. No other name was bandied about. The sandy-haired barber was a real fan of the “Terminator” and thought he would be a good governor. I couldn’t help myself; I had to plunge into the conversation, so I asked the three barbers a question.

“What if you were in a strange town and in need of a hair cut. You spotted a small one-chair barbershop and stepped inside. The barber had a pleasant and charming personality. He was delighted to greet you and, as you sat in his chair, he placed the apron about you and joyfully exclaimed, “You, sir, are my first customer.“

“Today?” you replied.

“Oh, no,” he bubbled, “the first ever!”

”Are you right out of barber school”

“No,” he cheerfully boasted, “never attended one.”

“Then you learned how in another barber shop?”

“Nope! Saw it done on television and it looked so easy, thought I’d try it myself.” Then the charming barber exclaimed, “With this first haircut I’m offering a free shave.” He then flashed a straight-edged razor before your eyes remarking, “Saw it done in a John Wayne movie.”

I asked the three wide-eyed barbers, “Would you let him cut your hair and give you a shave?”

Each gave a few graphic and colorful comments on just how fast they would have removed their fannies from the chair.

“Why not?” I coyly asked. “He’s seen hair cuts made in the movies.”

The sandy-haired barber blurted out: “He had no experience barbering.” The other two

nodded solemnly in agreement. “Why then,” I asked, “if you are unwilling to have a man clip your hair with no experience, why are you willing to elect a man to one of the most difficult political jobs in the world, someone who has had no experience at all in government?”

Collectively, not one of the three had an answer to my question. One finally murmured, ”Ronald Reagan was a good governor and he had no prior experience.”

I answered, “Not for the first few years he wasn’t. In Reagan’s first year, rather than cutting government spending, he increased taxes. Shortly thereafter, he signed a liberal Democrat’s bill making abortion legal in California, a horrible choice he later regretted.

“When he took over the governor’s office, the state’s credit was excellent and its economy was healthy. Ronald Reagan’s first-year budget was $4 billion. The new governor of 2003 will face a massive multi-billion dollar deficit, a horrible state credit rating, and an imbedded, multi-faceted bureaucracy, not to mention an antagonistic left-wing Legislature. In 1966 we could afford an ‘earn while you learn’ governor, do you think we could afford one now?”

“Does that mean we should keep Gray Davis?” they asked.

“To the contrary,” I replied, “Gray Davis has clearly displayed that he can’t handle the job and is largely responsible for the trouble we’re in. It means California voters better shop around and find an experienced governmental barber, one who knows where to cut and what to trim, not to mention who to hire and who to fire. The new governor needs to know the players, the professional career civil servants who manage the bureaucracy, the legislators who can be trusted and those who can’t, the lobbyists who have influence, the good and the bad, and the special interest folks who roam the halls. He should know that politics has its fair share of smooth-talking incompetents who will try to schmooze their way into the new governor’s staff. He has to understand that politics negates Murphy’s Law. It’s a universe where one can rise far above his level of competence and stay there. Our present governor proves that.

“Today, the new head of state needs to know a lot up front or he will lose his behind, and ours with it.”

“Is there such a person?” they asked?

“Yes there is. Senator Tom McClintock.”

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